drollery at its oddest

mikey, give me a title quick!
August 18, 2006, 2:12 am
Filed under: favorite, ramblings

dear tbs,
as i sat, eagerly waiting for ten o’clock to arrive so i could move my party to the bar, i enjoyed watching “goodfellas” on your network. enjoyed? perhaps that is not the word i am searching for. i believe the feeling weighing on my heart right now is more of shock and apalled-ness. (is that a word? i believe not and i apologize.) i appreciate the fact that you had the forethought to edit the movie before airing it by changing all the “fucks” to “freakings” and “hells.” however, i am disgusted that you allowed me to see a HALF-A-FUCKING-NIP on tbs. thank you and fuck off.


can you catch an std from unprotected boobie lovin’?
August 9, 2006, 12:53 pm
Filed under: favorite, life

let me tell you a short story. one day an old friend, who once reigned as scrabble king in the noble halls of chs, instructed me to keep a blog. a blog? i would generally scoff at such an absurd suggestion, yet in my post-schizophrenic episode weirded out mood i find myself typing. typing a blog. yeah, just so everyone of my dear friends is clear on that, i have had a psychotic episode. i haven’t had one in the longest time, a good minute let me tell you. i survived, however, and will unfortunately continue to persevere. or maybe that is fortunate. i will not know; i cannot know. i am not alone on that quandary. let me pause for a moment to say that i apologize for any misspellings or catachresis in my writing. it tends to happen in detached states of mind, such as the one i find myself in now. oh and i suppose i’d like to apologize for my rodomontade writing style.

i used to watch tv. quite a lot, actually. i used to spend good money that my parents worked very, very hard for on cable tv. it seems that once this commodity is readily available at no extra cost, as when it is included in your rent, it loses it’s appeal. suddenly nothing is on and i would rather rot in front of my ibook than encumber my mind with the paltry sitcoms and reality tv shows. i do realize i have a habit of floccinaucinihilipilification and that this is an exemplar, yet there is a point to this. i recently, last night, encountered the first problem directly related to the absence of tv in my life. let me also say that i do not read newspapers, nor do i glance at them when i run across the filth in one of my many adventures that lead me past my doorstep. back to the lesson learned: tv is good for your soul. i was a soulless heathen, but i have been saved.

yes, tv is of the utmost importance. it is necessary for the sometimes daily integration with society that, unfortunately, is essential. today i repented for my mistake and made ammends by bitch slapping all of my so-called friends. i now feel absolved. after all, it is no secret that i detest tv and newsprint. and yet no one felt it was important to inform me that there was a fucking war going on. thanks guys. i feel like such an illiterate philistine and it’s all your fault. you should be ashamed of yourself.